Home Stretch

With everything on my to-do/to-see list complete, I am enjoying a relaxing/occasionally boring last week in Burlington, VT.  It rained the first two days of the week, which fit in perfectly with my belief that when the earth is replenishing it’s self I must do the same.  But now two days in and two to go, I am feeling a little restless…

Ironically, (or not so ironically) as soon as I slowed down, I got sick with the flu that seems to be making its rounds.  Usually, I am not one to get sick, but the combination of my vacation “diet” and the lack of edible-looking produce, I’m sure has something to do with it. 

With a break in the rain today, I scooted off to the grocery store for some last minute groceries to get me through the next couple of days (‘cause the chips and Oreos in my cupboard aren’t going to get me far).  It is funny who you see at the grocery store in the middle of the day…mothers with young children, older women shopping in groups and random teenagers skipping school to pick up their birth control so they don’t have to do it later when they come with mom to pick up dinner. 

With some time on my hands, I biked around the shopping plaza, taking in all the other shops I had missed so far - the laundry mat, the Chinese food buffet, and, wait one minute!  A Dollar Store?!?!?  Nice…

I entered the Dollar Store and to my surprise, it smells just like my 99-cent store in San Francisco.  Ahhhh, just like home.  The clientele was even more interesting than in the grocery store.  As I cruised the aisles eating my peanut butter cups, an unusual thought came to me, “Am I ready to get back to work?” I thought, “Wow,” I decided, “I must be bored.” 

I biked home just in time to put my bike away before the rain started in again.  Luckily, am having dinner tonight with friends and tomorrow night with my roommates which will hopefully make the next few days fly by and before I know it, it’ll be Friday and I’ll be headed home.  To borrow from the musical greats Journey, “oh, I wanna get back to my city by the Bay…”

Closure

I enjoyed a busy week last week filled with hiking, day trips and a job interview!  Monday was a lovely hike with a dear friend @ Snake Mountain which I have renamed Sugar Hill due to a lack of both snakes and elevation. 

The potential of a week’s worth of income temping at my roommate’s company enticed me to blow my budget and rent a car for a return trip to Montpelier. While the accounting department caught up and will no longer need my services, I wouldn’t trade the trip for anything…

I had definitely missed the best parts of Montpelier the first time around.  After a quick stop by the Capitol building, I made my way up to Holden Park, a 7-acre park on the north end of town.  I climbed to the top of the stone tower and this was my reward…

 Having explored the downtown area the last time I was in town, I ventured out for a drive in the country.  As I drove along the gravel roads, I began to feel nostalgic about my time in the Midwest and the last relationship I had there.  During our time together there were many rode trips complete with gravel road detours and mixed cds filled with songs only young lovers can listen to over and over again. 

I found myself on Horn of the Moon Road, a scenic route with beautiful views of the surrounding hills.  There was a house for sale there…four bedrooms, exposed beams and 75 acres for $399,000.  Now if only I had the money I just sank into grad school…

After a brief stop by Stowe and the local Applebee’s for some chicken wings, I returned home still feeling nostalgic and with a longing to connect with my former lover, which shocked me because the last time we chatted I threw up.  But that was two years ago and I have definitely changed and maybe so had he.  So, I drafted a brief and emotionless email, and hit send before I could second guess what I was doing. Not wanting to be the psycho that hits “refresh” on their email, I turned off my computer and distracted myself for the rest of the night. 

But by morning I had almost forgotten about it and was surprised to see that he had responded.  He was surprised to hear from me and had moved since the last time we spoke.  Much to my surprise, he had a job and was still with the woman he was dating when we last spoke.  But even more surprising was my reaction to it all.  Rather than feeling a longing to be with or near this person as I had had in the past, it was simply enough to know that he was all right, even happy with his life.  I had spent the past few years being so angry at him for how our relationship ended that it felt nice to feel the love that was also a part of our relationship.  I basked briefly in those feelings and then went on about my day, not giving the email nor him another thought…

Geese

Having returned my rental car, I am again limited to the distance just my two feet, my bike and public transportation can carry me.  All of which I am grateful for, but am missing feeling the freedom having a car affords... 

While the Internet reported rain here all weekend, on the contrary, it was the most beautiful weekend (at least weather wise) so far.  I set out on a bike ride along the waterfront path – destination, Oakledge Park in South Burlington.  I arrived to a lovely sandy beach, families’ barbequing and a child’s birthday party going in full force.  Grimacing at their obnoxious presence, I quickly locked up my bike and set out to find a nice, quiet spot far away from the bouncy house fun.  Much to my surprise, it wasn’t hard to do.  The path gave way to a wooded area and upon further exploration, I found large rock slabs that jutted out into Lake Champlain.  The water lapped against the rocks eliminating any background noises coming from the park or it’s visitors.  Having found my spot, I settled in for a lovely afternoon of reading and sunbathing.

For the rest of the afternoon my only distraction was the honking of a flock of geese preparing the head south to their winter accommodations.  The flock took flight, but quickly separated out into small groups, singles and some larger groups, only to return moments later to the lake.  It was as if the group was off reading wind gusts and plotting the easiest route for their journey south.

The chapter ended and I decided to take a little break.  I briefly closed my eyes to feel the sun on my face when in quick bursts, something blocked the rays of sunshine from reaching me, creating eerie dark shadows.  As I opened my eyes to determine the culprit, I discovered the flock of geese where flying directly above me. They had found their “super highway” in the air and now, all together were traveling on to their next destination. 

In the past, I have seen tons of geese, but never had the experience of them flying directly above me. It was exhilarating!  They were such a massive group and so loud as they made their way south.  I sat with my excitement for them, for where they were going and wished them well on their trip.  Inspired, I returned to my book and eventually headed home. 

I have thought about my experience with the geese often over the past few days and even felt moved to share it with a couple of people in my life who know, and maybe even share my interest/fascination with the animal world.  Words haven’t been able to describe my experience that day, until I found (or it found me) today:

"How do the geese know when 
to fly to the sun? Who tells them 
the seasons? How do we, humans, 
know when it is time to move on? As 
with the migrant birds, so surely with us, 
there is a voice within, if only we would 
listen to it, that tells us so certainly 
when to go forth into the unknown."


—   Elizabeth Kubler-Ross 

I like to think that I share this inner compass with the geese and that is was that inner voice that told me it was time to leave San Francisco, not forever, but for a little while…  To go forth into the unknown of Vermont, only to return with tales of my adventure and lessons learned along the way. 

I am so grateful for this inner compass as it lead me to Wisconsin for school and friendship, to Spain for adventure and travel, to Madison for love and heartbreak, to Northern California to find myself and revel in nature’s beauty, to Seattle to relax and renew, and now this latest adventure to Vermont which is still making its lessons known. 

It feels great to have connected to the cycles and rhythms of nature and makes me feel better about not having found my mountain man, yet.  And when that time arrives, I hope he likes to travel and explore because I am almost always on the move and making a lot of noise as I do it… J  

That’s right…

Finally got around to posting an ad in the singles section of the local paper.  Got an email today that they like my profile and want to highlight my page on their facebook.  That’s right, mama got the goods, baby…

So far, one message from a gentleman inquiring about my weekend.  Nice enough, but not exactly the mountain man I was looking for…

Plenty of rural farmers looking for a “roll in the hay,” a few rednecks looking for “little lady” and others who seem nice and might just get a “wink” from me…

So glad all of this is falling into place less than a two weeks before I head home!  That’s right people, this month is just flying by and soon I’ll be boarding a plane back to my one true love, San Francisco.  But, I think Operation Mountain Man is far from over…

ROAD TRIP!

Am just returning from a week long road trip checking out all things Vermont. 

Things I learned on my road trip:

1)    I do not have the driving stamina I used too.  Since my longest trip is usually 20 - 30 minutes on a city bus, the three hours to Brattleboro was rough!  Thanks goodness rest stops in VT have free Green Mountain Coffee complete with cream and sugar of course, ‘cause I am on vacation!

2)    Wherever I go, there I am.  I thought being in Vermont would inspire me to be healthy, but not the case.  I still wanna smoke cigarettes, eat onion rings (with ranch) and cruise to the corner store for anything made by little debbie/hostess.  In San Francisco, I have rules for this kind of stuff:  junk food on laundry day, mountain dew when shit really hits the fan and cigarettes at night and/or with Jenn.  Here, there are no rules…

3)    I still (and will probably always) love beer.

4)    Having a state mental hospital adds a certain energy to a place.  There seemed to be more people walking around talking to themselves than any other area of Vermont I have visited thus far.  Initially, I chalked it up to long winters and needing someone to talk too, but a quick drive by “Brattleboro Retreat” made things pretty clear…

5)    Traveling solo gets various responses from people ranging from pity to jealousy to inspiration.  The key is to not get caught up in any of them and just have your own damn experience. 

PS  It is really starting to feel like fall!

Hiking Mt. Pisgah…solo

Tired of waiting around to meet people, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  So, early on Saturday morning I set out to climb Mt. Pisgah alone.  At other times in my life going solo wouldn’t have even crossed my mind because I did everything alone. But having just spent an amazing year with some amazing folks, I had the opportunity to heal some old wounds and join that community whole-heartedly.  And now, here I was again in that all too familiar place…alone. 

Within moments of getting into the car, a song I had with an ex-boyfriend came on the radio… “our song”.  It was an old Led Zeppelin tune and immediately when I heard it, I felt that exhilaration, that sense of freedom and spontaneity that sometimes accompanies young love.  With the windows rolled down, sunroof open and radio blasting, I headed off to make that mountain my bitch…

In hindsight, I don’t really remember much of the drive after that, I must have been running on pure adrenaline.  But what did stand out was the amazing beauty of north central Vermont.  The trees, the mountains, the ponds, and rivers were gorgeous.

For some reason, I giggled every time I saw this: 

When  I arrived nearly two hours later, the side of the road was filled with the vehicles of other hikers. “Good,” I thought, “Maybe this wasn’t going to turn into a scene from Man vs. Nature.”  I chatted briefly with some old timers and got the dish on where to catch the best view.  A few minutes later, I was off.  The trail was easygoing at first, but quickly turned into bolder climbing.  As I climbed, the air got sweeter and sweeter.  I noticed as the trees changed and the smell of sweet, sticky pine began to fill my lungs. Although I had to stop to rest a few times, I made it to the top in record time, while still enjoying the way.  And this was my reward:

I hung out at the top visiting with other mountaineers who had just made the climb.  I had to explain to some Canadian tourists that yes, I was on vacation alone and deal with their looks of confusion and pity.  We shared snacks and stories of other mountains we had climbed.  I was proud to tell them that this was my first one and certainly wasn’t my last. 

After I finished my snack and had taken in all that I could of the view, I began my descent.  It went by much quicker than the initial climb and much to my disappointment, the song of the leaves gave way to the roar of local rednecks' trucks on the highway. I had found a rock along the way which I held in my hand as a talisman for my trip, but when I arrived back at the pond near the highway, I decided to leave it there in honor of whatever it was climbing that mountain had meant to me.  I had tried to cognitively figure it out: Was it the physical challenge? Was it the sense of freedom?  Was it shear desire for an adventure?  But it was all those things and much more.  What I know is I left that mountain exhausted and yet renewed, for I had done what I needed to do…whatever that was… 

Really, is this what I’m missing?

Last night I was invited over to the home of a friend of a friend.  I was supposed to arrive @ 6pm, so I assumed dinner and brought a bottle of wine.  Soooo not the case… 

I was greeted by my friend’s former lover and took in her beautiful home in a much nicer area of Burlington than I am staying.  Was offered a beer…good…but that’s where the fun stopped. 

After we sat down, I was grilled about my experience in Vermont so far and then, the girlfriend came home.  What followed was more grilling and a discovery that the couple was “cleansing” and had been for the past two weeks.  Shit, I thought, I had been expecting a good meal and hadn’t bought lunch in anticipation of going to town on what ever it was that they had prepared.  So, in all honesty, the following experience was tainted by me being fucking hungry…

I should have been tipped off when as soon as I arrived the woman apologized, but stated she had promised to do dishes, so I spent the first 5 minutes of our meeting standing awkwardly in the kitchen while she did the dishes.  Really, was there going to be that much hell to pay if the dishes weren’t done?  Yeah, I guess there was…

As soon as the partner arrived home there began a constant barrage of inquiry and comments about the cleanliness of the apartment/partner. Included in the criticsm/judgements of the partner was:  “Honey, don’t put that on the table, it has sugar in it.”  “This place was a fucking mess when I moved in here.  … is a pig.”  “We don’t go out together because I don’t want people to know I date a woman” (after being together for three years, mind you). “Sweetheart, why did you put the large garbage bag in the bathroom and then try to hide it from me? (taking the large garbage bag out of the garbage, dumping it out and then putting the large bag away as if it were unused). 

Then, when I mentioned I should go (because I was fucking hungry) the woman offered to give me a ride home.  I declined saying I wanted to pick up some food before I headed home and that set the partner off.  “Honey, the poor thing is probably starving!  You invited her over at dinner time and didn’t tell her we were fasting?  What is wrong with you?  Here honey, let me order you some food…” and with that I had some Thai food ordered for me, without my input, of course.  I briefly shot in that I was allergic to shellfish, so she ordered me tofu (which I don’t eat, thank you).  We left to pick up the food, but not before full kisses on the lips from both of them, an embrace and an invitation for hiking the following Saturday.  ‘Cause yeah, that’s gonna happen….

We picked up my mystery food and I arrived home wondering, “Is this what being a couple is?  Being constantly judged/criticized for the very way you chose to live your everyday life?  I mean I understand putting up with some shit for a hot piece of ass (the partner was a voluptuous, blonde Texan), but really, have some dignity.  

It was made clear to me that this relationship was an example of the kind of relationship that I don’t want.  I want someone who has better things to do with their time than evaluate my every maneuver.  Also, someone who can let the little things go, because (and I hate this expression) at the end of the day, does it really matter?    

Thank you, Mr. UPS Man

So there I was, enjoying my sweet cream and cookies ice cream lunch (hey, its BEN and JERRY’S and its VERMONT…when in Rome, right?!)  when who should appear right outside my window, but a very tan, very handsome, dirty blonde, smoking hot UPS delivery driver (with no wedding ring, cause I checked ;)  He pulled up, loaded up his cart and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, he bent down, lifting his load squat style with all backside muscles flexing tight…that bears repeating, all backside muscles flexing…Damn, now that’s a mountain man…

Sadly, I watched him walk away to deliver his packages, but to my surprise he returned moments later for round two.  Although I had long finished my ice cream and was still recovering from round one, I held tight and prepared for more eye candy.  Round two was almost more exciting, cause I knew what was coming and it was oh so good…

So, thank you Mr. UPS man for making my Tuesday, and certainly my lunch, a little, no a lot more enjoyable J 

PS I wonder if they have missed connections in VT?

PPS No sales tax on clothes or food in VT, people!  No sales tax!  Wow can I have been here for almost a week and not known that!  

Day ??? and Oops

I think loosing track of the days is a good thing…

Well, my love affair with the Lesbian Welcome Wagon is over.  They figured out I’m into dudes and in fact, in VT to hopefully meet a dude.  So, the past few days have been a little lonely, but has meant a lot of time for bike riding and picture takingJ

In an effort to resist getting out of bed this morning, I checked my online dating site in CA and much to my surprise had a couple of messages!  Unfortunately, they mostly addressed the same thing I mentioned in my bio.  I happed to mention that I like/am good at cooking breakfast.  Seemingly innocent, right?!?!  Apparently not, because almost every message I received viewed it as an invitation for breakfast and god knows what else!  Seriously, dudes.  Are you that hard up for getting laid?  No wonder your still single!  Get your hormones under control and stop acting like a teenage boy.  Fo’ reals…  Maybe I should join eHarmony, that’s the religious one right?!? Nah, I bet those dudes are freaks too…

Okay, back to Vermont. So, I think a few of the women I met caught on to my desperation and are afraid to invite me to hangout with their boyfriends and their single friends.  Note to self, dial it back a notch…and have a good time.

Well, am off to the beach for a combination trashy novel/sun/perhaps a few beverages to cut the heatJ 

Day Three - The County Fair

Um, yeah, so not a lot of hot mountain men at the county fair, but lots of men.  Mostly dad’s (who are hot, but NEVER!) and rednecks…oh, yeah and all the Justin Bieber fans.  Well, with nothing better to do, the Lesbian Welcome Wagon and I hit up the beer tent for some much needed Bud Lights.  Damn Vermont has been hot!  A few rides and a snow cone later, I was spent and wondering if maybe I should be doing more…Online dating? Responding to ads in the paper? I couldn’t possibly get more friends on board, everybody already knows I’m looking, or maybe that’s the problem.  Oh god, am I desperate?!?!?!?  Well, maybe I am, but not in the take-what-you-can-get kind of way, but in the okay-its-been-long-enough-without dating someone kind of way.  You feel me?  I thought you might.  Well, tomorrows another day AND the farmers market…bet there will be tons of mountain men there, at least, I hope soJ

Day One

Well, I made it & it is gorgeous, just like they say.  I got the complete history from my cab driver on the way to my B&B; well at least since 1974 when he moved here from Texas…

AND I already have an invitation to dinner and a concert!  Unfortunately not with a mountain man, but with a lovely group of ladies I have begun to call my “Lesbian Welcome Wagon (LWW).”  They have been great, and one has a boat = awesome, cause I love boats…

I spent today meandering around downtown before I move to the ‘burbs tomorrow and have to bike three miles to town.  Damn, I’m gonna be thin, or at least I better be! 

No word yet on the mountain man, so far everyone looks like my friend Michael.  I did get a shout out from an ole hippy smoking on the square, ahh just like home. 

Speaking of home, I was hit with a bit of homesickness today, but a quick chat with my dear friends Alisa and Jenn solved that right quick. That and a few beers with my LWW;) 

Tomorrow, the county fair!  I bet they’ll be some mountain men there…