Closure

I enjoyed a busy week last week filled with hiking, day trips and a job interview!  Monday was a lovely hike with a dear friend @ Snake Mountain which I have renamed Sugar Hill due to a lack of both snakes and elevation. 

The potential of a week’s worth of income temping at my roommate’s company enticed me to blow my budget and rent a car for a return trip to Montpelier. While the accounting department caught up and will no longer need my services, I wouldn’t trade the trip for anything…

I had definitely missed the best parts of Montpelier the first time around.  After a quick stop by the Capitol building, I made my way up to Holden Park, a 7-acre park on the north end of town.  I climbed to the top of the stone tower and this was my reward…

 Having explored the downtown area the last time I was in town, I ventured out for a drive in the country.  As I drove along the gravel roads, I began to feel nostalgic about my time in the Midwest and the last relationship I had there.  During our time together there were many rode trips complete with gravel road detours and mixed cds filled with songs only young lovers can listen to over and over again. 

I found myself on Horn of the Moon Road, a scenic route with beautiful views of the surrounding hills.  There was a house for sale there…four bedrooms, exposed beams and 75 acres for $399,000.  Now if only I had the money I just sank into grad school…

After a brief stop by Stowe and the local Applebee’s for some chicken wings, I returned home still feeling nostalgic and with a longing to connect with my former lover, which shocked me because the last time we chatted I threw up.  But that was two years ago and I have definitely changed and maybe so had he.  So, I drafted a brief and emotionless email, and hit send before I could second guess what I was doing. Not wanting to be the psycho that hits “refresh” on their email, I turned off my computer and distracted myself for the rest of the night. 

But by morning I had almost forgotten about it and was surprised to see that he had responded.  He was surprised to hear from me and had moved since the last time we spoke.  Much to my surprise, he had a job and was still with the woman he was dating when we last spoke.  But even more surprising was my reaction to it all.  Rather than feeling a longing to be with or near this person as I had had in the past, it was simply enough to know that he was all right, even happy with his life.  I had spent the past few years being so angry at him for how our relationship ended that it felt nice to feel the love that was also a part of our relationship.  I basked briefly in those feelings and then went on about my day, not giving the email nor him another thought…