Last night I was invited over to the home of a friend of a friend. I was supposed to arrive @ 6pm, so I assumed dinner and brought a bottle of wine. Soooo not the case…
I was greeted by my friend’s former lover and took in her beautiful home in a much nicer area of Burlington than I am staying. Was offered a beer…good…but that’s where the fun stopped.
After we sat down, I was grilled about my experience in Vermont so far and then, the girlfriend came home. What followed was more grilling and a discovery that the couple was “cleansing” and had been for the past two weeks. Shit, I thought, I had been expecting a good meal and hadn’t bought lunch in anticipation of going to town on what ever it was that they had prepared. So, in all honesty, the following experience was tainted by me being fucking hungry…
I should have been tipped off when as soon as I arrived the woman apologized, but stated she had promised to do dishes, so I spent the first 5 minutes of our meeting standing awkwardly in the kitchen while she did the dishes. Really, was there going to be that much hell to pay if the dishes weren’t done? Yeah, I guess there was…
As soon as the partner arrived home there began a constant barrage of inquiry and comments about the cleanliness of the apartment/partner. Included in the criticsm/judgements of the partner was: “Honey, don’t put that on the table, it has sugar in it.” “This place was a fucking mess when I moved in here. … is a pig.” “We don’t go out together because I don’t want people to know I date a woman” (after being together for three years, mind you). “Sweetheart, why did you put the large garbage bag in the bathroom and then try to hide it from me? (taking the large garbage bag out of the garbage, dumping it out and then putting the large bag away as if it were unused).
Then, when I mentioned I should go (because I was fucking hungry) the woman offered to give me a ride home. I declined saying I wanted to pick up some food before I headed home and that set the partner off. “Honey, the poor thing is probably starving! You invited her over at dinner time and didn’t tell her we were fasting? What is wrong with you? Here honey, let me order you some food…” and with that I had some Thai food ordered for me, without my input, of course. I briefly shot in that I was allergic to shellfish, so she ordered me tofu (which I don’t eat, thank you). We left to pick up the food, but not before full kisses on the lips from both of them, an embrace and an invitation for hiking the following Saturday. ‘Cause yeah, that’s gonna happen….
We picked up my mystery food and I arrived home wondering, “Is this what being a couple is? Being constantly judged/criticized for the very way you chose to live your everyday life? I mean I understand putting up with some shit for a hot piece of ass (the partner was a voluptuous, blonde Texan), but really, have some dignity.
It was made clear to me that this relationship was an example of the kind of relationship that I don’t want. I want someone who has better things to do with their time than evaluate my every maneuver. Also, someone who can let the little things go, because (and I hate this expression) at the end of the day, does it really matter?
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